The Importance of Knowing Who You Are

If there's one thing I think it more important and more useful than anything else, it's knowing who you are. People who know who they are will know what they want and then it will be the small matter of achieving it. Some think that achieving it is a big matter, but it's not. Once you know who you (which defines what you want), you can easily find out how to get there and you'll have the motivation you need to achieve it.

That's why it's important to play at doing things, to pretend to be something just to see what it feels like. In childhood, this is perfectly acceptable. We think it's cute when a kid says he or she is a princess, a fireman, a zombie or Jack Skellington. But once you're out of childhood, it's suddenly called being 'fake' or a 'poser' or some other negative label.

But why? If I want to pretend I'm Aria Montgomery, Elena Gilbert, Emily the Strange, a ghost, or a vampire, or try on a subculture for size, what's wrong with that? I don't actually think I'm her nor do I know yet if I fit into the subculture, but from role-playing it, I might discover things I like or understand more deeply who I am. After all, I like the character or subculture for a reason, and that reason is most likely centered somewhere deep in the very core of who I am.

I want to "Be Like Aria Montgomery" for a reason. Not because I actually want to trade my identity for another person, but because she's the quirky, weird girl with an awesome wardrobe. Within her character, I find things I'd like to try: Icelandic coffee, knitting, reading philosophy books, traveling, taking a pottery or art class... On the other hand, I'd pass on other aspects of her life and character, like being stalked by a sociopath.

I want to "Be Like Elena Gilbert" for a reason, too. It's partly the aesthetic appeal of the movie: her housem the town is surrounded by woods, etc, but there are other appeals. I like that anything can happen. I would love abs like Nina Dobrev's. I like to journal and I wouldn't mind being a vampire with a Lapis Lazuli ring. On the other hand, I don't want to be an orphan. 

Emily Strange is a scientist and a loner and we share a lot of the same interests. If I could spend my days messing in my lab, growing plants, and hanging out with my cats, I certainly would! Being a ghost appeals to me because they wander around wearing clothes from the past and mystifying people, but I certainly don't want to be a real ghost! I'd want to be a vampire because I'd get more time to spend exploring all the world has to offer and never have aging or (most) illnesses get in the way of that.

What about you? When you Google "how to be this" or "be like so and so," what are you really looking for? Let this be the beginning of a journey of self-discovery. Is the reason you want to know "How to Be Country" because you think living out in the sticks, swimming, hunting, farming and ranching is your big thing? Or do you just really like horses? Is it the homeyness and the stability of the lives described in country songs that you like? Or the independence and "do-it-yourself" ethic?

Let me know what you like and why you like it in the comments.

And while you're on your journey of self-discovery, get your hands on this book:

Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want