The Importance of Knowing Who You Are

If there's one thing I think it more important and more useful than anything else, it's knowing who you are. People who know who they are will know what they want and then it will be the small matter of achieving it. Some think that achieving it is a big matter, but it's not. Once you know who you (which defines what you want), you can easily find out how to get there and you'll have the motivation you need to achieve it.

That's why it's important to play at doing things, to pretend to be something just to see what it feels like. In childhood, this is perfectly acceptable. We think it's cute when a kid says he or she is a princess, a fireman, a zombie or Jack Skellington. But once you're out of childhood, it's suddenly called being 'fake' or a 'poser' or some other negative label.

But why? If I want to pretend I'm Aria Montgomery, Elena Gilbert, Emily the Strange, a ghost, or a vampire, or try on a subculture for size, what's wrong with that? I don't actually think I'm her nor do I know yet if I fit into the subculture, but from role-playing it, I might discover things I like or understand more deeply who I am. After all, I like the character or subculture for a reason, and that reason is most likely centered somewhere deep in the very core of who I am.

I want to "Be Like Aria Montgomery" for a reason. Not because I actually want to trade my identity for another person, but because she's the quirky, weird girl with an awesome wardrobe. Within her character, I find things I'd like to try: Icelandic coffee, knitting, reading philosophy books, traveling, taking a pottery or art class... On the other hand, I'd pass on other aspects of her life and character, like being stalked by a sociopath.

I want to "Be Like Elena Gilbert" for a reason, too. It's partly the aesthetic appeal of the movie: her housem the town is surrounded by woods, etc, but there are other appeals. I like that anything can happen. I would love abs like Nina Dobrev's. I like to journal and I wouldn't mind being a vampire with a Lapis Lazuli ring. On the other hand, I don't want to be an orphan. 

Emily Strange is a scientist and a loner and we share a lot of the same interests. If I could spend my days messing in my lab, growing plants, and hanging out with my cats, I certainly would! Being a ghost appeals to me because they wander around wearing clothes from the past and mystifying people, but I certainly don't want to be a real ghost! I'd want to be a vampire because I'd get more time to spend exploring all the world has to offer and never have aging or (most) illnesses get in the way of that.

What about you? When you Google "how to be this" or "be like so and so," what are you really looking for? Let this be the beginning of a journey of self-discovery. Is the reason you want to know "How to Be Country" because you think living out in the sticks, swimming, hunting, farming and ranching is your big thing? Or do you just really like horses? Is it the homeyness and the stability of the lives described in country songs that you like? Or the independence and "do-it-yourself" ethic?

Let me know what you like and why you like it in the comments.

And while you're on your journey of self-discovery, get your hands on this book:

Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want

In What Order Do the Pretty Little Liars Books Go?

I have seriously had the hardest time ever finding a good list of the Pretty Little Liars books in chronological order. If you had that problem too, I'm here to help.

#0. Ali's Pretty Little Lies

"I'm Ali and I'm fabulous."

This one is a prequel so you could read it last or first or in between. I'd wait to read it until at least after you finish "Wanted" (#8) so it doesn't ruin the story.

#1. Pretty Little Liars

"It's not over until I say it is."

#2. Flawless

"Never judge a book by its cover."

#3. Perfect

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

#4. Unbelievable

"Never underestimate a pretty little liar."

#4½. Pretty Little Secrets

"It's so much more fun to be naughty . . . ."

#5. Wicked

"Never say never."

#6. Killer

"Someone is dying to talk."

#7. Heartless

"Every pretty girl is a heartbreaker."

#8. Wanted

"Be careful what you wish for."

At last! When you finish this one, you can read the prequels!

#9. Twisted

"The best secrets are the most twisted."

#10. Ruthless

"Guilty until proven innocent."

#11. Stunning

"I've got my eye on you."

#12. Burned

"Four liars are about to get burned."

#13. Crushed

This one will be released June 4th, 2013.

If the patterns with the other books are anything to go off, there should be another three books after this one.

How to Make Really Good Guacamole, Unless You Hate Avocados, Then I Meant to Say "How to Make Really Nasty Guacamole"

Guacamole is one of those things you either love or hate. I really love it. I know people who really hate it. I think it's because of the avocados. Avocados are like Ronald Reagan. You either love him or hate him.

You Will Need:

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane | FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Mainly because my guacamole isn't as pretty as this.

• 2 avocados
• onion (you'll probably only need like ¼ of a large one)
• tomato (get one or two of those little pear tomatoes or whatever the call the little egg-shaped ones)
• 1 ½ tablespoons lime juice
• ½ cup of salsa verde (it's like regular salsa but it's green)

What To Do:

1. Dice the onion until you have ¼ cup of it. 
2. Dice the tomato. You need ¼ cup of tomatoes too.
3. Cut open the avocados. Take out the pits and either grow them into an avocado trees, toss them, or put them in the . Scoop out the gooshy green stuff and put it in a bowl. Smoosh it all up with a fork.
4. Stir in the onion, tomato, lime juice, and salsa. 
5. If you like avocados, eat it all by yourself with a fork or get some chips and share with other avocado-lovers.
6. If you hate avocados, give it to someone who likes avocados and make yourself some cheese dip instead.

Yummmm...or ewww, whichever.

How to Find Good Country Music

I really love country music and I've heard more of it than any other genre. Country is the only radio station is the only one that I can listen to without having to change it every three songs. If you're new to country music and want to get started with some good stuff, here are thirty songs to start off with, in no particular order:

Title: Voices
Artist: Chris Young
Album: The Man I Want to Be

"Turns out I'm pretty dang lucky
For all that good advice
Those hard to find words of wisdom
Holed up here in my mind"
Music Video>>


Title: Georgia Clay
Artist: Josh Kelley
Album: Georgia Clay

"Ain’t it funny how some things take you back
And the here and now just fades to black
When I pull that blue tarp off of that time machine
Man, it hits me"
Music Video>>


Title: Relentless
Artist: Jason Aldean
Album: Relentless

"I'm staring at a hurricane
A hundred miles of driving rain
I just smile and lean into the wind
Cause' I can't outrun it"
Music Video>>

How to Be a Country Boy

Lots of people don't like "how to be" articles because you should be who you are, not stuff yourself into a stereotype that you think looks like fun, or something. None of my how-to articles are for faking your personality (although someday I may write an article on "How to Be a Poser" just for laughs). Use this information to express your personality, and don't take any of my advice as law.

Parts of this article are almost verbatim from How to Be a Country Girl. Thanks to Thomas for giving me the idea to adapt the country girl article for the guys!

You are probably already country if some or all of the following are true:

• You enjoy some or all country music. And not just Carrie Underwood or Taylor Swift. Nothing against them of course, but if their music is the only country music you like, then you are not as country as you may think.
• You like farms, ranches, and the country. If you think manure smells bad, a walk down a country road at night sounds awful, or you are in some other way uncomfortable or dislike anywhere that is not 'citified,' you are not country. 
• You like animals, but have no problem with them being used for food and other things. Not a militant animal rights activist or vegan.
• You think country girls are sexy
• You'd rather live in the country or a small town than in the 'burbs or a city.
• You prefer American-made products to Chinese sweatshop creations.
• You believe in God.
• You're proud to be an American.
• You're politically conservative
• You think there is nothing better or more honorable than serving your country, raising a family, and everyday life.
• You'd rather work a field or ride a horse than sit in an office all day. 

Still think you're country? Sweet! Here are the actual instructions:

How to Make Your Eyelashes Look Thicker

So, making your eyelashes look thicker...what can you do? You may not be born with thick lashes, but it is perfectly possible to fake long, thick eyelashes.

1. Curl Your Eyelashes. Do it three times for best results. Get an eyelash curler and use it right next to your lash line, in the middle of the length of your lashes, and last of all at the tips of your eyelashes. Make sure you hold the eyelash curler closed for five seconds each time you use it. 
2. Make Your Mascara Last. Dust loose powder onto your lashes (make sure you keep your eyes closed for this one!) to create a base for your mascara. 
3. Apply the Mascara. Apply one coat of lengthening mascara. Then, before it dries, apply a second coat. Put the brush at your lashline and wiggle it to create volume before you sweep it out to the ends of your lashes. Remove clumps with a finger, or a lash comb. 
4. Apply Eyeliner. Make sure the eyeliner pencil is freshly sharpened so it's nice and pointy. Apply it to your top lids really as close to the lash line as possible, so it all blends together with the mascara. Make it thin and natural, or thick and smudged for smoky eyes.

At the end of every day, make sure that you remove your eyeliner and mascara with the rest of your makeup that your eyelashes are perfectly clean for the next day's application. To do this, dab a little bit of makeup remover or baby oil on a cotton ball.

How to Do Your Hair Like Aria Montgomery from Pretty Little Liars

Aria's Voluminous Everyday Look. This tutorial is based off of a video I saw on ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars site (it's no longer available).

1. If you have medium or fine hair, wash your hair with a volumizing shampoo and conditioner. ABC Family recommended Tresemme 24 Hour Body Shampoo and Conditioner. I like Paul Mitchell Extra Body Shampoo & Conditioner. If you have thick hair, you don't need a shampoo and conditioner that gives extra body. 
2. Towel blot your hair and and then work a palmful of mousse through your hair. In the video they used Tresemme 24 Hour Body Mousse. I'm a PM fan though and if you are too, try the sculpting foam (extra body variety for volume). 
3. Flip your head upside down and blow dry your hair on low until it's maybe half as wet as before. This step is optional, but it will speed up the round brushing.
4. Blow dry with a round brush on medium or low heat. Take a section as thick as the core of your round brush and two to four inches wide. Start on one side of your head and work top to bottom column by column. As you finish a section, flip it over the top of your head for more volume. Make sure the nozzle on your blowdryer (use a vent attachment!) is angled so the air bows from roots to ends. If you point it ends to roots, it will rough up the cuticle, causing frizz, and who wants that?
5. Using a 1-inch curling iron, take sections two inches wide and an inch thick. Curl and clip in place (see the type of clips I use here). 
6. Once you have finished curling your hair, let it cool for about five minutes. 
7. Set with finishing spray. In the video they used Tresemme 24 Hour Body Finishing Spray, though--as usual--I prefer Paul Mitchell. 
8. Take out all the clips. Part your hair, gently brush out the curls, spray your hair again with the finishing spray, and voila!

Aria's Headband Look in Salt Meets Wounds. I based this tutorial off of a video on ABC Family's Pretty Little Liars site which is no longer there.

1. Wash your hair with a moisturizing shampoo. The video recommended Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner. Paul Mitchell also has a great moisturizing shampoo & conditioner (yeah, I know, could I shut up already about Paul Mitchell? I just love them okay! Or maybe I'm just brainwashed because I went to a Paul Mitchell hair school). 
2. Brush your hair and then apply a palmful of light mousse. In the video they used Tressemme Naturals Lightweight Mousse but FYI, Hydrocream Whip is the best stuff ever.
3. Put a nozzle on your hairdryer and blow dry with a flat brush (try a #413 or a #427). Once dry, apply a dime-size blob of smoothing cream to your hair to tame fly aways and frizz and add shine. In the video, they used Tresemme Anti-Frizz Secret Smoothing Cream; but I'd use Relaxing Balm, Super Skinny Serum, Gloss Drops for this style.
4. Flat iron 1-in thick, 3-in wide sections of your hair to get it extra smooth from roots to ends. To do this, turn on your flat iron on the higher temperature side, then very slowly and glide over each section twice.
5. Part your hair to the side and put on the headband. Arrange your hair with a comb as shown in the picture (if you're not sure what that means: backcomb the hair behind the headband and smooth back, then swoop a strand of hair to the side as shown).

I'm thinking that a video tutorial would be helpful. Who's interested?

**Note: While I have linked to Paul Mitchell products on Amazon to show you what they look like, I do not recommend buying Paul Mitchell product online unless you know something I don't. Paul Mitchell only sells their inventory to licensed professionals, so if you obtain Paul Mitchell products from any place other than a salon or licensed stylist, it could be a diverted product. Diverted products are stolen and watered-down or fake and knock-offs. In either case, only God knows what kind of crap is in it or what it will do to your hair.

How to Make the World's Best Brownies

Brownies around here are a staple, like bread. The only thing that might be more important is cookies. This is the easy version of brownies. Later, I'll post the more gourmet version. Ha ha, gourmet. As if. 

You Will Need:

• One small package of instant devil's food cake chocolate pudding
• Two cups of cold milk
• A devil's food cake mix
• One 12 oz bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips
• A tub of icing in any flavor you like. I used chocolate the first time and strawberry the second time. Most people seem to like the chocolate better.

What To Do:

1. Preheat the oven to the temperature specified on the cake mix box.
2. Mix the instant chocolate pudding with the cold milk per the instructions on the box. 
3. Add the cake mix and mix well. If you don't, you might not mix it thoroughly. 
4. Stir in the bag of chocolate chips.
5. Spread the mix into a well-greased cake pan (I used a 9 x 11 inch) and bake until knife or toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean (I baked them for thirty minutes, but it was in a toaster oven and at a low altitude; you may need to adjust your cooking time accordingly). 
6. Once the brownies are done, allow them to cool. 
7. When they are cool, spread the icing all over the cake as thick as you please.

Mmmmm! They are soooo chocolatey!

How to Apply Country Girl Makeup

You want your makeup to be natural. Let it enhance your appearance, but don't use so much that people can easily tell what you're wearing. Natural makeup is usually the best option no matter where you're going or what you're doing.

1. Apply foundation. The most important part of applying natural looking makeup is foundation that already matches your skin tone. Some people tell you to apply foundation first. It is better to put it on after you apply your eye makeup so that if you have to redo your eye makeup, you won't have to redo your foundation, too. The best foundation for a natural look is either a mineral powder or tinted moisturizer. Apply the foundation only in places your skin needs to be evened out. Use your fingers for the best blending job. Set with powder.
2. Eye shadow is not necessary. If you want to wear it anyway, use a bronzing powder or a natural looking shade of brown. Apply your chosen shade of eye shadow and then blend away harsh lines with a blush or powder brush.
3. Curl your eyelashes and apply mascara. Curl your eyelashes before you apply mascara or your lashes may stick to the eyelash curler and be ripped out. Limit yourself to just one coat of mascara.
4. Use bronzer instead of blush. Smile and apply to the apples of your cheeks.Go ahead and dust a little bronzer on your temples, as well.
5. And for your lips... Finish with either clear or brownish-pink lip gloss, or a tinted chapstick.

Try this book for more on how to enhance your natural beauty with makeup:

How to Dress Like a Country Girl

This is one of my favorite things to write about. Regardless of who you really are underneath it all, clothes announce to the world who you think you are. You can usually find these clothes in just about any store. If you want specialty clothing, try your local western outfitter store.

Tops - Get t shirts and wife-beater tank tops anywhere you can find them in cuts that flatter you. Get them in solid colors. If you want to, you can also get shirts and hoodies that say things like "Country Girl" and "Proud to Be an American." The John Deere logo, Rebel Flag, and International Harvester logo would also do. Get button down Henleys in solid colors and floral patterns, western shirts, and plaid flannel shirts. Get jackets in denim, camo, and plaid. Try hoodies as well as cargo jackets.

Bottoms - You can never have too many pairs of jeans. Get boot cut, flared, and straight jeans. The brand doesn't matter that much, although you'll probably want some durable jeans. The most durable brands I've found are Wrangler brand jeans (purchase them online, or use their store finder) and Arizona brand jeans (buy them online or at your local JC Penney). If you want to wear shorts, go for cut offs just above the knee or Daisy Dukes. Go for sundresses and other floaty patterns. Also try denim and tapestry patterned skirts that hit just above your knees.

Shoes -  Get a good pair of cowboy boots. You can wear them everyday, once a week, or just to dress up. Besides cowboy boots, you can also wear athletic shoes and hiking boots for everyday. When you dress up for a dance, church, or another formal (or semi formal) event, you can wear heels.

Accessories - Get a good cowboy hat. You can buy just one to go with everything or a few different ones, including one in felt and a straw cowboy hat. Get your belts in real leather (plain or tooled) or braided/macrame. If you want to dress up your belt, try a belt buckle; there are a lot of options. For earrings, wear studs or hoops. You can go dainty "Girl Next Door" with light, feminine jewelry made with pearls, silver, or gold, or try more Western/Native American with jewelry made from leather, turquoise, and silver.